Well Hung: The Fig in All its Glory

Try as I might to join in the fun, The French sense of humour has always eluded me.  It's either loftily erudite or miserably low-brow.  There's no middle ground for an ironic, self-deprecating girl like myself.  That, or something is definitely lost in translation.  I had all but resigned myself to a mirthless existence of never quite getting what was so funny when I came across a certain jam. How could a jar of fig confiture make me laugh out loud?  It's all in the name.

Couilles du Pape, produced by award-winning confiturier (jam and preserves confectioner) Francis Miot, is made using only the highest quality provençal figs and unrefined cane sugar.  It is sweet and sticky and full of the Mediterranean sun,  everything you want a fig jam to be.  For those of you not fluent in French slang, couilles du Pape translates as Pope's balls.  Yes, seriously.

The name stems from the legend of Jeanne, the cross-dresser who became Pope thanks to a rather embarrassing oversight.  Whether this really happened or not was of little importance to the Holy College; the very idea of a woman pope was enough to push for a modification of the papal throne.  After Benoît III's election, he was made to sit on a throne with a hole cut out of the seat.  One lucky cardinal had the job of slipping his hand under the throne to testify as to the presence of the papal jewels.  The declaration "Duos habet et bene pendentes" (there are two, and well hung) was then made, presumably to a collective sigh of relief.  On the streets of Avignon, the seat of the Papacy at that time, the people hastened to add "like two figs" to the proclamation.  A joke, and a jam, was born.

You can order directly from the maker's website, though for deliveries outside of France you'll have to contact them for an estimate of shipping costs.  Alternatively, you could try making your own.  I did, and the results were divine.

Couilles du Pape Fig Jam

Ingredients

1/2 lemon

1 kg ripe figs, stems removed
750 g sugar
1 vanilla bean, split length-wise

Directions

Combine the lemon juice and zest, figs and sugar in a bowl. Cover and let stand about 2 hours, stirring occasionally.

Transfer mixture to a saucepan and add the vanilla bean. Over medium heat, bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for about an hour, stirring frequently.

When things start to look all jammy (you can test by following this tip), remove it from the heat, taking care to extract the vanilla bean, and pour into hot, sterilized jars.  Cover tightly.  Your sticky-sweet treat will keep for about 2 months in the refrigerator.

Fig jam works in so many ways, not just on toast.  Try my baked brie and fig jam.  So easy, so good.

Reine Claude, the Queen of Plums

While poking around my local market earlier this week, hoping for some inspiration, my eyes were drawn to a mountain of little oval gems the colour of sage.  I only had to approach within two feet of the stand to be struck by their honey-sweet perfume.  Looking up at the hand-scrawled sign suspended above the pile, I read Reine Claudes €3,50/Kilo.  The vendor, noticing my curiosity, handed me one to taste (I love all the free tasting that goes on at French markets).  One bite and I was hooked.  Golden juice dribbled down my hand as I sank my teeth into what could only be described as a little bit of heaven.  Soft and yielding, the flesh had an almost caramel quality to it.  I bought a brown paper bag-full and headed home with the lot, popping a few in my mouth along the way.

Reine Claude is a variety of plum not so readily available outside of France.  Known as Greengage plums in English, they couldn't be more different from the hard, round, dusty purple fruits I remember from my school lunch box.

I could have eaten the whole bag myself, but I thought better of it and so shared a few with my daughter.  The rest of the afternoon was spent listening to her chanting "More plums?  More plums?  More plums, please?"  I searched through my collection of French cookbooks for some fabulous dessert that would do justice to these little beauties, but all I found were recipes for jams.  While I'm sure Reine Claude jam, sticky and velvety green and spread on a warm slice of brioche, could quickly become my second most favorite way to wake up on a Saturday morning, I wasn't in the mood for making jam.  That, and I'm not so well equipped as to have dozens of jam jars and pound upon pound of sugar sitting about in my tiny Parisian kitchen.  So I improvised.

Here's my recipe for Reine Claude Clafoutis.  It was such a hit that I made it all over again a few days later for a dinner party.  Sweet, custardy goodness!

Reine Claude Clafoutis

Serves 6 (or a greedy 3)

Ingredients

500 g Reine Claude (Greengage) plums
3 eggs
500 ml milk
100 ml heavy cream
1 vanilla bean
50 g softened butter
100 g sugar
125 g all purpose flour
butter and sugar for the cake pan

Directions

Preheat oven to 190°C.  Butter a 24cm round cake pan and generously sprinkle the bottom and sides with sugar.

Gently heat milk and add the vanilla bean.  Take off heat when steam begins to rise off the milk.  Set aside and let the vanilla bean soften in the warmed milk.

Meanwhile, wash and dry the plums.  Cut them in half and remove the stones.  Line the cake pan with the halved plums, cut-side down.

Remove the bean from the milk.  With a sharp knife, split the bean lengthwise, open it with your fingers, and scrape out the black vanilla seeds with the edge of the knife.  Add them to the milk and either discard the bean pod or save for making vanilla sugar.

Beat the eggs, milk, cream butter and sugar.  Add the flour and beat until combined.

Pour the egg mixture over the plums in the cake pan and bake for 1 hour and 15 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the centre comes out clean.  Remove from oven and let cool before serving.